Sometimes in life, just within a blink of an eye, or three deep breath, something that would change your life can happen right? Achievement, loss, who would might know. And life continues...
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I've been taken down by a minute creature, a flavivirus a week ago. Well, dengue it was. Haha, not as hot like Ebola nowadays, but hey, this is the worst and did made me feel worst. This wasn't my first time caught dengue either, but this marked a big experience in my life, by far.
Actually I wanted to tell the whole experience but nahh nevermind. Let me just put it at the back of my mind and spill some here. All I could tell. It was bitter. To the point that I feel I'm dying. So dramatic, but who would have known right? I can't eat at all, I'll threw up everything I ingest to the point that I got peptic ulcers. When my pct keep going down, I'm afraid that my tummy will bleed and I'll be threwing up blood. Hahaha. What was I thinking that time? But still, I got nosebleed and little blood spots scattered underneath my leg's skin as well as a little swelling of the liver. It was hard to fall asleep and I constantly got nightmares. Phewh. I was tired physically and emotionally. 7 days warded. Cukuplah tu :')
I still got bruised on my hand due to everyday blood drewing and I feel the vein on my wrist still hurts due to the branula insertion those days, i'm not sure why, but I hope it is just psychosomatic. HAHA. My weight was down to only 40kg but along this week, I manage to add up 1.5kg okaylaa kot. I will continue my monster eating, I promise. Hehe. I still have to meet the Dr. last Wed., my pct was great yeah yet still anaemic and liver still recovering. But I feel great now. Alhamdulillah.
But I feel very thankful and grateful. Because people constantly giving me courage and motivations to hang on and keep fighting, especially family and close friends thru visits,calls or texts. Many moments in the hospital, I was feeling down but they did cheer me up. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you semua :')
I'm moved of my dad, I seriously feel that. He is an old man, has his own illness, yet he tried his best to take care of mak and me at the same time. A caregiver by heart, I'd say. Mana nak cari a guy like him nowadays (T.T) Though I was alone, most of the times at the hospital, he constantly checking up on me. He always remind me that all of these was a test, given by Allah for me and asked me to stay strong and fight. He gave me spirits to recover for my convo when I was no longer care to attend it. I seriously don't care and I feel that I can't make it. Haha. Too different from what am I before. But then, I remembered few words he said. And that's what made me get up and I feel that I wanted to see him smile, at least on behalf of my mother. I made it, Alhamdulillah :)
I also remembered what Paien said to me, two days before I discharged.
"Mar, kalau Allah boleh tarik kesihatan kau dalam satu malam, tak mustahil dia boleh sembuhkan kau dalam masa dua hari ni."
Indeed. It was true.
Though attend konvo pun dengan surat Dr., Alhamdulillah, I feel great that day despite sakit kepala and panas. Especially when seeing everybody looking so joyous and vibrant. And especially their smiles. It's a mojo and therapy for me, made me smile most of the times :)
So again, Alhamdulillah officially graduated. I hope Allah will guide me to the best path I should take in the future.
What happened to me might not meant anything to another, yet it means something to me. And I'm thankful for it. :')
I will not lose hope in two things, love and kindness :D
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